In the final blog in this series, I want to talk about actually moving house. And the things we did that helped us along the way.
In the run up to the move, I spent some time in each of our rooms decluttering – not a task I was looking forward to, but something that really made a difference when we got to packing up. Especially going through the kids’ clothes and toys was cathartic. We saved one of each of their old school uniforms for their memory boxes which was a great way for us to remember all the good times at the old school and cherish these, while at the same time getting some closure.
In the toys section, we sorted through all the baby toys and gave these to charity. When going through the loft we also had car seats that we didn’t need any more, as well as Tripp Trapp chairs that we sold on gumtree – the money raised all went into a ‘moving fund’ to help pay for removals vans, but also for the ‘celebration take out’ that we had to consciously say goodbye to our old home.
Another great place to start decluttering was the garden shed – all those old kiddie toys that they haven’t used in a long while can finally go to the charity shop, or to the skip, if they were broken. We gave away a few bikes and scooters to one of the local pre-schools and the kids were able to pass on the joy, which made saying goodbye easier.
Cookbooks were another area that I decluttered – again, many of the baby cookbooks could go, and it gave me an opportunity to consciously keep those that I wanted in my memory box (yep! I have one too – I’ve always had one, so still have things like my blue school sports t-shirt from when I was 7 😊).
When it comes to decluttering, I find it an exhausting process – not just physically working my way through piles of old clothes, toys or books, but emotionally too as so many memories are attached to each of the things and I find it hard to say goodbye. That coupled with the kids not really wanting to say goodbye to anything initially (it ALL needs to go into the memory box, mummy!) and having to slowly coax them through the process is really hard for me. I think reminding them (and me!) of how much joy these things can give the next family - while acknowledging that a few select things are just too special to let go of just now (which is why we have a memory box) – has helped me and the children navigate the process.
I’ve also found that taking breaks is really important and the clearest sign for when I need a break is when too many things start to end up in the memory box because making hard decisions about saying ‘goodbye’ to things is getting too difficult. Another thing that helps me, is to really take pride in re-organising the decluttered space. The joy in opening that organised drawer over and over again, helps confirm that all the tricky decisions were in fact worth it (and that helps the children too – when they finally play with their toys again, because they are not overwhelmed by the sheer clutter anymore…).
After a few days (or weekends, depending on your timeline) of decluttering, we started to pack up. And I must say, in previous moves I always skipped the decluttering step as I found it too hard and time consuming. But now that I have actually included that part, the packing up is so much easier! I gave each family member a small box to pack their favourite books and toys into so that these can remain easily accessible during the move/ the first few days and weeks as we get settled in.
This way, the kids still have their most prized possessions, and the transition will hopefully be a little easier. We did the same for their clothes – I’d washed most things, and we packed a bag of clothes for each child, with a mix of fun stuff, clothes to relax in and that can get dirty, as well as their new uniforms. A bit like when you go on holiday 😉
As we’ve moved over a longer period of time and in stages, it was a much slower process for us this time. That came with it’s own challenges of keeping up the momentum and focusing on the positive!
After the kids had packed their basics, they helped with packing up their actual rooms – each were given a few boxes to fill, and I showed them how to easily pack books vs. toys so that things don’t get damaged, or the box gets too heavy to carry. Each child then helped label the boxes, seal them and then stack them at the entrance of their room against one wall. Our removals company gave us the tip that if we label the boxes on the tape (rather than the boxes themselves!) we’ll be able to return them and get a refund. It’s worth checking, as that can mean a lot of money back – and you are helping the environment by ensuring the boxes can be used again!
Once the kids got bored with packing, I called in as many favours as possible for them to go and enjoy some playdates rather than us all get annoyed with each other. This meant my husband and I were able to finish off the rest of the packing (including the dreaded kitchen!) in relative peace and quickly 😉.
Finally, when it came to the actual moving day – we always toy with the idea of getting a company to do this for us completely – but aside from the cost, I also find there is something therapeutic about clearing out your old home and physically dismantling and carrying all that you own and then taking it to your new home. So, we often end up doing a bit of a hybrid – we all join in with the carrying but also have a couple of strong removals people to come and help us with the really heavy or tricky things – like a washing machine, or large sofa. We’ve also called in help from friends in the past and it’s ended up being a bit of an informal removals party – with lots of banter, laughter and fun along the way – again, I love that way of saying goodbye to a home that holds so many lovely memories for us.
When we get to the new house all the boxes and key pieces of furniture get taken to the rooms that they need to be in, so that they are there from the outset. This means that in advance (in our case weeks and weeks in advance) we’ve agreed and discussed (and discussed and debated some more!!) who will go into which room and therefore the children already have a sense of ownership of the room that is ‘theirs’. They take great pride in making sure all their boxes have arrived (having counted them, naturally!) and that the shelves and beds and desks are also put in the right places. In our case we needed to buy some new furniture for some of the kids’ rooms in particular, so I’ll arrange for this to be delivered soon after we have the keys.
This will mean that some new furniture will already be in the correct rooms (but still wrapped) – and this then adds to the excitement of arriving in the new house and knowing that the furniture that the kids had helped me pick out for their rooms is now also ready to be unpacked! In our case, some of the rooms needed a lick of paint, so in those rooms the boxes and furniture will be stacked in the centre of the room and we try to paint the room a few days after the move so that the shelves and wardrobes can be set up as soon as possible.
Involving the children in this is amazingly fun – their ideas range from wild to impossible but the end result has always been that they’ve been really invested in their new rooms and make them their own.
As I’ve moved a lot throughout my life, I have a real need to turn around a new house and make it a home quickly – much to my husband’s despair at times. But it means that relatively quickly everything has its own place again, the children have all their toys organised and accessible - clothes are hung and can be worn (and washed!) and you then get to move on to actually enjoying and living in your new space, rather than constantly wondering what box you packed that book that you’ve not found yet, or where the cheese grater or bottle opener went…
On the day of the move, we celebrate having ‘arrived’ and have a meal together – if the kitchen is semi-unpacked and functioning already, it’s a home cooked meal. If not, it’s a take-out and we will eat that on the floor on a rug together and share the excitement of the day.
Once we were in, the next thing we start doing is taking a look at what activities the children wanted to join – from gymnastics, to swimming to music, football and taekwando. And we all try to join a family leisure centre. This really helps us get into a new routine and meeting people outside of work and the new schools too.
Finally, for this house move, we have started a new ritual – on Sunday mornings we now all go for a family walk together to explore the area and see what we can find, taking a hot chocolate and coffee with us! Along the way we stop in a cafe or pub for some crisps and a treat and, as the weather gets colder and wetter, to warm up by a nice cosy fireplace. When we get back, the expectation is for everyone to be able to relax – read, watch some TV, do their homework, play – whatever everyone fancies, while Mat or I (or sometimes both of us together!) cook a nice Sunday lunch for us all to enjoy.
I’ve really loved these days – there are many days where the kids need some coaxing to get out, but I’ve found having that connection with Nature, a bit of structure and the adventure of trying something new, is helping me and the family start to feel more and more at home.
Have you moved house a lot – or maybe recently? What are the top take aways you had? I’d love to hear from you!
Anika x
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