We’ve just come back from a week in Berlin, where the kids had 100% quality time with their grandparents, and we are due to go away later this summer for them to have time with their grandmother on my husband’s side.
Seeing the children play with my parents as well as their aunts, uncles and cousins, made me realise just how important regular connection with the wider family is. Especially when you live far away, and especially in a world where technology often takes over. The value of the simple day to day human connection and interaction is unmatched. I understand that in some families – for whatever reasons – this may not be possible, but when the relationship is a good one, it’s wonderful to see both generations enjoy each other’s company!
I had asked each of the children before the holiday, what they wanted to do – and the activities were surprisingly simple – go for a bike ride with Grampa, do crafts with Omi, play with them, go to the market and the toy shop together with them. And – other than a bit of TV time, when everyone needed some downtime (and the grandparents (and me!)) needed a sneaky snooze) – the days were filled primarily with activities and simply spending time together.
The relationship children get to have with their grandparents can be one of the most enriching relationships as these bonds offer that unique link where the adult has more time than the parents and often lots of wisdom, love, and support for the child.
As many of you may know, my cousin and I ran a business all about capturing family stories and memories a few years ago, so this is something that is close to my heart. I still have a couple of specific guided journals that I want to gift to families that are interested in having a fun and accessible way to capture their family stories.
This can be especially fun for 8+ year old grandchildren, who can ‘interview’ their grandparents and capture the stories told, in the journal – either by themselves or with the help of the grandparents or parents. And sometimes, I’ve found the grandparents will be more than happy to share these stories with their grandchildren – even more so than with you! 😊
The Giveaway is for five ‘My Life Journal’ books. These are filled with guided questions to ask around each life phase, have space for a family tree, photos and additional notes.
We will be running this giveaway throughout September. To enter, simply email me or DM me on Instagram by 30th September 2024 and I will select 5 lucky winners and post the books to you free of charge.
There are some images of the journals too, below for you to get a better idea of the gift.
But first – let me continue this blog post with some more facts that I have pulled together around why connecting with grandparents is so important and additional ideas on how your children can do this.
Why Connecting with Grandparents Matters
1. Passing Down Wisdom and Traditions
Grandparents are living history books. They carry decades of experiences, stories, and traditions that are invaluable to their families. By sharing tales of their own childhood or recounting historical events, grandparents provide children with a sense of their roots and a broader understanding of the world – this is especially true when grandparents bring that personal connection to historical events that the children may have learnt or heard about at school.
2. Emotional Support and Unconditional Love
Grandparents often provide a nurturing environment that complements parental love (I appreciate this is not always the case in different areas of life where parents need to put in their own boundaries to support the next generation to heal from generational trauma – so this is about doing this in your own way that suits your children and family best!). Grandparent’s patience and affection can offer children a secure space to express themselves and find guidance. This emotional support can significantly boost a child's self-esteem and resilience. Grandparents also have the ability to listen to the child from a different perspective, when the parents may be too caught up in the moment. I’ve certainly found that my children offer new insights and thoughts when they share things with my parents – simply because the questions are asked differently and there is space to be heard and understood by another loving adult with another way of looking at things.
3. Fostering a Sense of Identity and Belonging
Connecting with grandparents helps children understand their family history, contributing to a stronger sense of identity. Knowing their family's stories and values helps children feel grounded and part of something larger than themselves. All the little traditions and rituals that families have, can really come to life through the grandparents – in our house it’s the bike rides for instance. All three of my children learnt to ride their bikes in the park that I learnt in – with the same patience and instructions that I received. It’s been humbling to watch! My children have also started to create new rituals with my parents – every visit they will go to the market to see the potato farmer, who now knows them and greets the ‘London children’ with a mini bag of Haribo – something they very much look forward to!
4. Building Intergenerational Skills
Interaction with grandparents can help children develop empathy, patience, and respect for older generations. It also provides them with skills such as effective communication and active listening, which are essential for navigating a diverse world. My children tend to help out more when they are visiting my parents – it seems they pick up on ‘how things are done’ elsewhere and happily (or at least more happily than at home!) join in. I think there is also something about it being a ‘give and take’ – the grandparents spend a lot of time wanting to just be with the children and following their lead, so when they in turn need some help setting the table, the children are happy to be part of that activity, too.
Creative Ways to Connect with Grandparents
There are lots of ways to connect with grandparents – and here is a snapshot of ideas that my children have enjoyed.
1. Storytelling and Oral History
In line with the Life Journal, you could either encourage your child to ask grandparents about their life stories, or just share stories about the day as you go. I find myself recounting lots of memories of my own childhood when I am back in Berlin and this seems to end up being mini storytelling sessions where we share funny, inspiring, or historical anecdotes. The kids love these stories and will recount them many months later. They offer centre around food in our family – for example how we make mayonnaise as a way to show yourself some ‘tlc’, or how Grampa used to store chocolates really, really high up in the kitchen, so he could reach them only and have a steady supply for himself, rather than have the kids go through the chocolate too quickly… (he still has stashes of goodies today that he shares with the grandchildren!).
2. Cooking Family Recipes Together
Cooking is a wonderful way to bond and pass down traditions. My parents love to cook, and it’s always been a family way to connect for us, so it makes sense that one way my children love to connect with their grandparents is to cook with them. They might get tasked with chopping, or stirring or tasting and along the way, they talk and just spend time together! A firm favourite is making Ginger Beef together (lots of chopping needed) or ‘Grampa’s creamy sauce’ 😊 I’ve noticed that these cooking sessions have also started to impart practical cooking skills – my eldest will now tell me I need to cut the meat against the grain and that I am ‘not doing it like Grampa does’!...
3. Engaging in Hobbies and Crafts
Discover common interests and engage in hobbies together. My daughter loves sitting with my mum to learn how to knit or do crochet – two things I have always been absolutely useless at and failed to learn from my mum, who is excellent at sewing (as was her mum). Isla sat this holiday and made a bracelet with Omi, after having carefully selected all the ‘right’ beads in the shop together. It was wonderful to watch them both discuss colour options and the length needed for the bracelet and what matches what. Something I have very little time or patience for in the day to day, so it was great to see her get that attention and share that passion with another family member.
4. Creating a Family Tree
Although my children have never done this, I have fond memories of sitting with my own Grandma and working together to create a family tree. She would tell me stories of all the different family members (one great grandmother got stung by a hornet and died as she was allergic!) I found this project a hugely exciting exploration of our ancestry, and it prompted many discussions about family members and their unique stories. For me, it was definitely an educational activity that deepened my understanding of my heritage – especially around the Cold War and how this deeply affected both sides on a very personal level.
5. Reading Together
Sharing books is a timeless way to connect. In our house, the grandparents and grandchildren sometimes take turns reading stories to each other, and this continues to foster a love for literature and sparks all sorts of interesting discussions! Sometimes, the grandparents will also read the bedtime stories for our lot, which means we get a break – and maybe even get to go out for a cheeky glass of wine together!
6. Playing Games
Games are a fantastic way to bridge the generational gap. My Grandmother had introduced me to classic board games and card games, and in turn we taught her about the games that we loved, like UNO. Today, my son will sit with his Grampa to teach him about some of the video games he likes and we’ve also all played things like ‘poo face’ together – a brilliant card game another family shared with us. This playful interaction ends up having us all laughing and learning together – and there is also something about learning how to lose that’s a really important skill that comes with practice.
Whatever way your children get to connect with their grandparents, I hope their bond gets to be a special one, rich with potential for learning, growth, and joy. I know generational baggage can sometimes get in the way of this, and it is not always the case. But in many cases, by actively fostering this connection, families can create a nurturing environment where children gain invaluable life skills and a deep appreciation for their heritage – and it’s always an opportunity for healing and growth too (even if that isn’t always easy) and these relationships are treasures that can enrich their lives forever.
Anika xx
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